COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY NEAR STRATFORD-UPON-AVON

I have to admit I have not seen the new Bridget Jones film yet.  Much to the horror of everyone who knows me who seem to identify me a bit too much with Bridget.  Fortunately, my husband is still very much alive. Not the fate, apparently, of Mr Mark Darcey.

Mark was sure in his refrain through the first 3 films that he loved Bridget “just as you are.”  I thought at the time that was just a nice way of him saying that he loved her despite her lack of order and discipline, traits that he exemplified.

However, working with my clients I have come to realise that this phrase “just as you are” is far, far more powerful and loving than that.  You are entirely loveable and justified in your existence without you needing to DO anything. You are perfect with nothing to prove, win or achieve.

You may want to change, chase careers and perfection in various fields and if this adds to the joy and satisfaction you feel in life that is great but it does not make you any more worthy of your place here and the love that you should feel from those around you.

It suits the capitalist world to encourage the feeling of “not enoughness” in us but it is not for our benefit unless we sit at the top of a large corporation.  We need to make a living and money for our survival but how this is achieved is irrelevant to our worthiness.

I doubt you would look at a bug crawling through the soil and think - I hope that bug has a satisfying career and fitness plan otherwise there is no point to it.  No, you would think - look at that bug existing and enjoying its time here - just the way it is.

The privilege of my job is to meet people just as they are.  And they are, always, beautiful and worthy. The sadness is that they do not feel it. My job is to work hard with my clients to change that.